Why bother?

Have you ever felt so overwhelmed in an aspect in your life that all you can manage to say is "Why bother?". Maybe it is with losing weight, finding time to plan healthy meals, squeezing in exercise into an already busy day, finding the strength to dig your way out of a disorganized house that has been overtaken with toys and pet hair? Any of this sound familiar?? Well for me, today it is ALL THE ABOVE and then some.

We went out of town last Friday to Memphis because my husband had a conference for work. We weren't going to be able to go anywhere else this summer so I figured we would tag along and that it would be good to just get away for a few days. Well, the kids had other plans. They both were not interested in having a good time or just relaxing. They decided to throw fits of epic proportions every chance they got. With Jason gone for most of the day, that left me to handle every meltdown, fist fight, dirty diaper, snack, etc for 5 days. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my kids. I do not however, love their tempers and stubbornness after 5 days of it. I couldn't wait to just get home and get back to normal.

Scratch that. I started today off with going back to tracking all my food and planning our meals which while it really does help me stay accountable, it means I am constantly THINKING about food which drives me nuts. Then just walking through my house full of toys scattered everywhere, the kitchen full of dirty dishes, cat hair everywhere I look, laundry for days........it was all I could do not to jump out the bathroom window. I am so overwhelmed that I have no idea where to start. I never feel like I will get it all under control. I'm sure others feel this way, too. I just needed to vent it out and now I'm gonna put on my big girl pants and go clean my kitchen. Ugh

This day just gets worse and worse and it's only 9:00

So I come here this morning REALLY struggling. Today was my weigh in. I was cautiously optimistic that I was going to get a loss on the scale. I had been going like a freight train with my cardio 3 days in a row and had started the 30 day shred and made it through 3 days before I was sidelined by my chiro. I still thought that with... my increase in activity at the beginning of the week, it would result in SOME loss. Even without exercise I had still stayed within my calorie limits for the day so with that said, needless to say I was very upset this morning when I weighed in and got a 3 pound GAIN :( I did eat out twice yesterday and although it was within my calories, I know the sodium was through the roof. I am REALLY hoping that is just water retention from the food yesterday and that deep down there really was a loss. Right now, I am completely off track to hit my 10 pound loss by Aug 3rd. I am struggling.

Then Aubrey has a follow up apt with the pediatric dentist from where she busted her two front teeth. They are now infected and she has to be put on a stronger antibiotic and he has reccommended that she have them removed. She isn't even 2 :(

I have another chiro apt today and the kids are supposed to have their pictures taken tonight (outside) but the sky is looking like rain so with the string of luck I have had today, I'd say a thunderstorm is on it's way.

I really need a do-over...

CAUTION Curvy Bones Ahead

Well I have officially hit my first out of my control speed bump in my journey. I had my first chiropractor apt today. I have had trouble with my back since I had Avery in 2006. They hit a nerve trying to put the epidural in and my back hasn't been the same since then. Fast forward to 2009 when I went in to have Aubrey, they hit a nerve FOUR times. It was terrible. It felt like lightning entering my head and shooting out my left leg. What I thought was back pain before, turned into SEVERE pain almost on a constant basis.

So I decided in my quest for health, that I should start seeing a chiropractor in hopes that it would help ease some of my pain. I went in, did the normal Q & A, and then she took me in for 4 x-rays. While the xrays were developing, I had electrode and ultrasound therapy on my back. It wasn't too bad. After that was over, I was waiting on the Dr. to come in with the xrays and to do her adjustment.

WELL.....needless to say I wasn't expecting what I found out. As soon as she opens the door, she looks and me and says "WOW". Hmm, that can't be good. She proceeds to put up an xray that can only be describes as disturbing. She didn't even have to tell me what I was looking at. I could see that my back bone started at my tailbone and went up about 3 to 4 inches and then SHOT OUT to the right. I got this sick feeling in my stomach. From the way she was talking I could tell this wasn't good. She said I have severe scoliosis. She didn't say it was the worst she had ever seen, but by her reaction I would say it is a safe bet I'm in her top 10. She said that the reason they had such a hard time doing my epidurals is that my back wasn't where it was supposed to be, which now makes perfect sense.

She also said that because my ankles turn inward, that I need to be fit for shoe inserts that will help take the strain off my back. Those are gonna look HAWT in a pair of heels someday, huh? So she wants to see my back 3 times this week for adjustments and I can't exercise for a WEEK!!!! Boo hoo!!! This really ticked me off because I just got started on the 30 day shred and had only made it to day 3 and now I have to stop until she gets my back adjusted some more. Oh that reminds me, I haven't told you about that part yet...

So she told me she was going to adjust my lower back and asked me if I have heard the sound that it makes when people pop their knuckles. She said it would sound like that. I guess I was so focused on what it would SOUND like that I wasn't even thinking about how it would FEEL. She pushes down on my back and I scream out "Oh my God!!" I was so embarrassed but she just laughed. Said it happens all the time. I felt immediate relief in my back and in a weird way can't wait to go back tomorrow because I know I will only continue to feel better with each visit.

The bad news is I am out of exercise for a week, the good news is at least I know what is wrong. I now know to be aware of this situation in my kids and can have them checked on a regular basis in hopes of preventing this from happening to them.

She did say I could walk so I guess the treadmill and I are going to become good friends this week :( I'm not so happy about that.

Motivation and a Good Breakfast

I wanted to share with you a couple things this morning. First, I had the best oatmeal in the world today for breakfast and I wanted to share the recipe. However, before I share that, I need to share with you how I found the recipe.

The other night I was messing around on myfitnesspal.com (mfp) and I stumbled onto a post from a woman named Raeanne. Her profile picture was enough to make my mouth drop.



She is my age, a middle school teacher, and reading her story just connected with me in so many ways. We have since connected and she has been a huge inspiration to me even in this short amount of time. She has a blog http://payfitforward.net/ that you should DEFINATELY check out at some point.

On to the oatmeal, I had been searching for a more filling healthy option for breakfast instead of just cereal when I saw Rae's video on how she makes her oatmeal. It looks yummy so I tried it this morning and it was awesome. I added one tablespoon of Wal-Mart All Natural Peanut Butter to mine and I ended up with a bowl of peanut butter r cup oatmeal for 245 calories!!! Here is the video of her making the oatmeal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=926uCeNJwL8&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

You can add in to your oatmeal whatever you like, I was just feeling the pb/choc thing this morning.

Hope you all have an active and enjoyable day!!!!

On the way to meeting my first goal

On June 26th I set my first goal. That I would lose 10 pounds by August 3rd. I am 6 pounds away from meeting that goal. I can't wait to post here that I met it!

Here we go...

So this is my first blog on my journey to saving my life. When I say saving my life, I guess I mean that in more ways than 1. Yes, I am losing weight, exercising, and changing my diet to help save my life from diabetes, heart disease, and other illnesses that run rampant in my family. But I am also saving my life from days of not enjoying activities with my family and friends, days of wearing solid color shirts EVERYDAY because I don't feel comfortable with anything busy or bright for fear that I will look like the side of a barn or worse. Saving myself from 2 pairs of shoes that I wear all the time because they go with my boring wardrobe when deep down inside I want to wear these....



By the way, those were from kmart.com (crazy I know).

The point is, there is a hot mama burried underneath years and years of physical and emotional weight. I hope that by shedding these pounds I will be able to truly find out what it feels like to buy the clothes and shoes you want, run down the beach with my kids, finish a 5K, 10K, or whatever without FEAR that I am not good enough. I hope you will join me on this ride if nothing else I like to post pics of hot celebrities every now and then so those you won't want to miss :)